I am not a fortuitous person. I do not win at anything and believe me — I have tried!

I have never won at cards or board games or even flipping a coin. Just no luck in these old bones.

I know friends who are lucky. They are lucky at the casino, both at the tables and the one—arm bandits. They are lucky with chances for raffles and for lottery tickets. Those friends never shy away from spending money to buy a ticket for the dog or horse races — because they know they’ll win.

They bet on national sports of all kinds — and win — even if they choose the dark horse.

Not fair I say.

Once I bought a ticket at a craft sale and my name was chosen for a potholder — however, in the end it was between me and some other sad sack and the sad—sack won. Not fair I say. A pot holder … really?

I have tried playing Bingo and I always get down to my last square before someone else across the room yells “BINGO!” Dang it.

The lottery just doesn’t entice me to spend money on one chance in millions. I have been told I can’t win if I don’t have a ticket — but there is no justice in that gamble. Once in a while when the jackpot is up in the millions, I might buy one ticket. I choose my birthday or maybe the birthdate of my dog Ivy. If her birthdate won, I’d have to buy a lot of dog biscuits or I’d feel really guilty. Maybe a little dog sweater (fall is around the corner) or a fluffy new bed. I couldn’t take the money for myself — because I would know that it was her luck that brought in the gravy train. But, so far — her birthdate hasn’t been lucky either.

That is why I was really thrown for a loop when I received an email indicating that I’d won a $5,500 television set and a $1,000 XBox (whatever that is). My jaw dropped! Finally!

The extravagant prize was already on its way to my house courtesy of the big brown trucks! Yeah! Bring it on! It was to arrive on my front porch next Tuesday. All I had to do was to call the phone number provided and let them know that I had or had not ordered the fancy pants new equipment!

I barely watch television and so I was stunned. Why me?

Well, why me indeed? The next day I saw a warning in the newspaper concerning the infamous “television prize” scam. Someone was just tugging my taffy. No enormous television for me. Why should I have been surprised?

Now, there is a new scam and this time I didn’t even begin to believe that my luck had changed. The deal is — I got this in four different emails.

“We have been trying to deliver a package to you which apparently was lost in April, or maybe May, June or July.” Take my choice I guess. The post office had it in their possession and would bring it to me if I responded to their message. We all take messages from the United States Post Office as gospel!

We can all remember how chaotic the world was during those months. Could have happened, I thought to myself. Could have lost my package! But, then I read in my trusty newspaper that yes, this was yet another scam.

There are enough scams to go around. There must be lots of people such as myself — waiting for their payday! Their bonanza! Payday! Lucky straw! They get suckered in and are listed on the losers list.

There’s always the chance that my luck will turn. Maybe, sometime when I am playing “Go Fish” or “Slap Jack” with my grandkids, the cards will fall my way. That has to be a big enough payday for me!

(Copyright © 2020 APG Media)

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